I Hair- Do In Marriage


By Rajdeep Paulus @RajdeepPaulus & online at : rajdeeppaulus.com


weirdbeardWhen I first met my sunshine, he had a baby-face, cleaned up completely, making him look like he was sixteen.

Because he wanted to impress this slightly older woman (I’m four years older,) a few months later, he was sporting a full beard, and I was like woah!

Where is that cute boy I fell in crush with a month or so ago? But a few days later, he shaved the sides and voila, he was a goatee-walla, and he looked mega-hawt. And I am all about his goat, even if it means a little tickle when we share a kissey-kiss-kiss.

The day we got married, he shaved his goat, but brought it back a few weeks later; one of the benefits of marrying an Indian man in most cases.

Forget five o’clock shadow. Try 10:00AM in this case. 🙂 But the goatee look is my favorite, so I’ve enjoyed hubby’s facial hair transformations over the past fifteen years. Even the full beard doesn’t bother me in the winter months. And I’ve never complained. Until two weeks ago, when he did the unthinkable: trimmed up his beard and then shaved only the chin area. Simply put, I can’t stand it. I’m not sure why this cowboy/lumberjack/Arctic ranger look just gets my goat, but it does. And I complain about it, at least once a day.

After which hubby chuckles and reminds me, “That’s one more week.” Because for each time I say something negative about his “weird-beard” [yes, that is what I’ve coined it,] it earns one more week of stay-time. And me and my loose lips, we’re talking a few months have been checked off the calendar at this rate.

Which begs the question, how much say should a spouse have in his or her partner’s appearance? When we were freshly engaged, Sunshine asked me to grow my hair out for the wedding since, at the time, my hair barely reached my shoulders. And I did. I was so in gaga-love, I might have shaved my head for this boy I couldn’t wait to marry. But I’ve had long hair most of my life, so it wasn’t too hard to comply. And occasionally, I’ve asked Hubs to bring back the goatee, and he has. But this time, resistance abounds to no end, and it’s like a game. One in which I’ve lost every round thus far.



And to all the encouragers of the weird beard, I say, “Must you greet Hubs with such enthusiasm?” The ‘I like it!’s only fuel my fire, because I DON’T like it. In fact, there have been so many compliments, I actually turned down Hubby’s offer to leave it up to a Facebook vote. If he got more “likes” than my request to bring back the chin hair or shave it all off, he might just keep it forever! And I’m at the point where I’m pretty sure I will lose the vote.

So what’s a wifey to do when she doesn’t like his do? Oh believe you me, I’ve thought of some pretty creative, although not original, ways to clean this mess up. We were at a wedding on Saturday, and I offered hubs a glass of wine. Then, a second. And the next morning, they would have changed the name of the “Samson and Delilah” story to “Santhosh and Rajdeep,” except, I chickened out. Because I feared if I tried to shave off his beard in the middle of the night, two mornings later, I could wake up with a mohawk. Yep. If he’s willing to keep shaping up this look, I don’t want to find out what payback looks like.

So I’m back at the beginning. Standing at the altar and repeating my vows. In sickness and in health. For richer or for poorer. With or without facial hair. Till death do us part. Because as much as the weird beard annoys me, it’s not killing me…in the traditional sense of the word. I’m sure this too shall pass. And we’ll have some laughs about these days in the years to come. From this moment on, I’ve promised myself to keep my mouth quiet,kiss that chin like nobody’s business, and affirm the man I love. Oh, and hide his razors. 😉


More About the Author:


Rajdeep Paulus is the author of Swimming Through Clouds, is mommy to four princesses, wife of Sunshine, a coffee-addict and a chocoholic.  As of this June 2013, she’s a Tough Mudder. To find out more, visit her website  or connect with her via Facebook  TwitterPinterest, or Instagram .


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  1. Sanober

    Gosh talk about weird-beard…my hubby’s fave is the full on beard which he affectionately calls his “face sweater” during the winter. Its not so bad except I know he does it out of sheer laziness and so it becomes scraggly and poor lil one gets scratchy kisses on her cheeks! My fav is when it’s just a small square of chin hair. Very sexy. All of the above better than french goatee cuz on him, its a pervy look ha ha. So YES a spouse has got to have a say but let them have their fun once in a while! 😉

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