Sleepovers: How to Do Them Right

By Anjum Choudhry Nayyar

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As us moms juggle vacations, Spring break and look ahead to summer, many of us may be asked, “mom can I sleepover?”

Do you remember asking  your mom that question growing up? If your parents were like mine, the answer was a resounding ‘no.’

Why? I would ask. The answer I always got was, “We don’t think it’s a good idea.” Culturally many of us likely didn’t experience a sleepover until much later in life, if ever, growing up. 

How would you handle a slumber party today?  There are factors to consider (beyond what we were ‘allowed to do and not do’) before you make the decision to let your child sleepover: 

1)    They should be able to feed and dress themselves, brush their own teeth

2)    They should be able to sleep through the night and not need you to be there to tuck them in at all times

3)    Recurrent nightmares  or wetting the bed should certainly not be an issue so that the friend’s parent isn’t dealing with this on your behalf 

4)    They should have slept over with you at ‘new places’ before, such as a grandparent’s home or other family member without issue

And if you’re sending your child for the first time to  an all-girls sleepover, you may want to make sure they have the right things in place to have a successful fun and positive experience. PGEveryday Canada shares these must-haves you may want to ensure the other parent has before okaying any slumber party or having one even in your own home:

• Somewhere to Sleep: It sounds simple enough, right? Get a sleeping bag and a pillow.  Just be sure your child’s bag is on something soft like carpet. Sleeping bags and tile floors don’t mix. Ouch!
• Eats and Drinks: Slumber parties are a great time for pizza and ice cream. But finger foods that can survive outside of the fridge are best. That way you can snack all night! Some healthy favorites are sliced veggies, fruits and nuts, and, if you’re looking for sweet or salty options, popcorn and cookies can make a great treat.
• Movies: Bring a DVD or two. The more, the better! There’s nothing like crunching on popcorn and watching a funny movie with your BFFs.
• Magazines: Reading is way fun when you’re not nose-deep in a history book. It’s also great for between movies or when everyone starts getting tired.
• Music: For a party that rocks, you need to rock! Have your child bring favorite CDs, MP3s.

You also want to make sure you prepare her for the unexpected, including a (first) period. Consider packing:

1. Something for either her first period (gah!) or just that regular period. An Always pad or Tampax tampon depending on what stage and age your daughter is at.  
2.  An extra pair of clean underwear and pants, just in case.
3. Deodorant and skin-cleanser. Who doesn’t need those for a slumber party right?
4. Any of her other personal care items, like her hairbrush, toothbrush, and any medications.

Have a chat: If you’re worried about the night especially if it’s the first time she’s going to a slumber party, I’d say, just talk about it. Assure her, if she feels uncomfortable in anyway, you’ll be right over to come get her. Deal with her concerns head on and have a ‘bail out’ plan ready beforehand.

Try it out: Hopefully you’ve had a trial run with a relative by now. If time permits, have a slumber party of your own with her friends so she knows the routine.

Talk with the other parent: In case you have a concern about sleepwalking or nighttime issues, have an open conversation with the other parent. It may give you some comfort and it’s the courteous thing to do.

Good luck, don’t stay up all night waiting for the worst to happen, but do keep your phone nearby!

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