This is a look back at Sheba’s pregnancy as she prepares for baby number 3! Read more of her BabyonBoard Series here.
Tomorrow is an important day for my pregnancy. My 20-week ultrasound happens first thing in the morning. This is the ultrasound that tells you whether you are having a boy or a girl. I already have two boys, so it’s pretty obvious what I’m hoping for.
However, as we all know, the baby’s gender comes from the male and my husband’s family has a dominant male gene. There hasn’t been a girl born in the family for almost 13 years. It is an influx of boys all around.
It won’t be a surprise to anyone if we are having a boy. Sigh, another boy. I knew this going in. Before we got married, Saud and I agreed that we both wanted lots of children. A few years later, I realized that the dominant male gene in his family would mean I would most probably end up having four boys. I have prepared myself for this possibility however; I will admit that the testosterone in my home can sometimes get to me. There are only so many fart jokes/noises I find funny.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel blessed and grateful to even be pregnant, especially when so many of my friends are struggling to have babies. I obviously want a healthy child and that is my number one priority. However I can’t help myself if my mind wanders to pink and ruffles every now and then.
My three-year-old son is utterly convinced there is a girl in mommy’s belly. He insists on reminding me that his little sister is in there and we are going to name her Ice Cream, his very favourite food. I try to remind him that it may be a boy in mommy’s tummy but his response to that is “We can give the baby away if it’s a boy and then God can put a baby girl in your tummy.” We may have a long way to go in convincing him that another little brother will be fun times.
This ultrasound is weighing on me. I am preparing for a boy and hoping for a girl. South Asian culture sees boys as an achievement that should be awarded. Carrying on the legacy and family name, taking care of the parents and well, growing into successful men who provide. Ahem, not always the case as we’ve all seen. The girls on the other hand, are a burden. Keeping them out of trouble, finding them spouses, teaching them to be domesticated. Sure, this is all slowly changing but I have many girlfriends who have only daughters and tell me stories about how their grandmothers plead with them to bring a boy into the family.
The funny thing is, most parents I know have a stronger emotional relationship with their daughters than their sons. The daughters seem to call and take care of their aging parents more than the revered sons. I also believe the emotional connection between an adult woman and her mother is one of the strongest of its kind. Not to mention, I can only imagine how much fun shopping for a little girl is. My fun so far is getting overjoyed at sweater vests and cords.
Now I know it’s highly unlikely for me to give birth to a girl and as much as I would love to dress a baby up in frills and lace, if baby number three ends up being a boy, he may just have to put up with being a bit more dressed up than his older brothers, simply to satisfy his mommy’s need to dress someone in something other than track suits and baseball caps.
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