Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy

Where Do Babies Come From?

By Sheba Siddiqui @shebasid & online at: shebasiddiqui.com

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Photo: courtesy Sheba Siddiqui

“Mommy, how does the baby come out?”

There it is. The question I have been dreading. My soon to be four- year-old innocently asked me the long- awaited question as I was giving him a shower last night. It came out of the blue and I was completely unprepared.

He, more than anyone else, has been looking forward to ‘his baby’ coming for quite some time. So when he asked THE question, I know I should have been ready. You see, I don’t believe in lying to my kids. I believe in telling them the age appropriate truth regarding all things in life.

So, in my state of unpreparedness and nervous laughter, I naturally told him that the baby is going to come out of…my belly button. It was the only thing I could think of at the time. He then proceeded to interrogate me on how a baby would come out of such a small hole. I told him my belly button will stretch, yes it will hurt a bit but the pain goes away and the same thing happened when he was born and then again when his little brother was born.

This was the best I could come up with considering the unforeseen circumstances. After the fact, I sat and thought about it and am still stumped on how to answer a toddler when they ask you where the baby is going to come out without traumatizing them. Otherwise, the pregnancy is going well. It took a turn for the better as soon as my second trimester came about. No more emotional outbursts or confusing feelings. I recognize myself again, my creativity and zest for life are back.

A few things no one tells you about pregnancy:

1. I am a hairy beast. Despite having laser hair removal done a few years back, I look like Chewbacca. This seems to happen in every one of my pregnancies and shortly after I give birth, it all goes…err..sheds…away. On the bright side, this came in handy this past November when I unwillingly decided to participate in Movember.

2. I dread having to cough or sneeze. For many of you mothers out there who’ve had multiple natural births, you already know that having a sneezing fit in public while being pregnant can lead to disaster. For those of you who don’t know, let’s just say, always bring an extra change of clothing everywhere you go.

3. Please refrain from telling me how you really hope it’s a girl this time or that I look like I’m carrying high so it must be a girl. And if it’s not, what position, Chinese calendar or diet I can follow for the next (!) time to ensure it’s a girl.

4. I hate McDonald’s and rarely eat there. Yet I crave the most disgusting thing on their menu; a Filet-o-Fish. I can’t stop eating them. I refuse to get out of the car and go in for fear that people may judge the pregnant woman so I order drive-thru and eat it in the parking lot while keeping my eye out for any recognizable faces. My filet-o-fish has become my mistress.

5. On that note, I have gestational diabetes. Had it with both previous pregnancies and managed to control it with diet and exercise instead of insulin injections however this time around, the sugar cravings know no bounds. I feed my sons carrot sticks and hummus while I hide in the corner and shovel in cookies. I seem to be hoping for a miracle.

What do you wish you knew before getting pregnant? Share your comments with us, let’s start the dialog!

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