By Shruthi Malur, Guest contributor
There is always so much to look forward to when you become a parent. The good part is watching your child grow up, recording every milestone and beaming with pride knowing you are doing something right. The not so good part is having arguments about various topics under the sun. A new argument every day had become a routine with my husband. I always had something to say about his inability to help me with chores, and doing stuff around the house.
On more than one occasion I reprimanded him stating — we ought to teach the kids doing chores early, and you are not exactly setting a great example (with a slight hope that he would mend his ways). But, we all know how that ends.
Being successful parents sometimes takes a toll on the husband-wife relationship. Most of us would disagree, but we know we have been there at some point in our parenting lives.
Amidst all the clashes, I sometimes forget to compliment my husband on what a great dad he is. The minute he walks into the door–he has her full attention. No matter how crazy his day has been, he always reserves his special smile for her. He is a ball of energy and immediately switches to the “dad mode”. Keeps her occupied the entire evening with different tricks (while I try to take a shower, and remember my existence) and never raises his voice, or loses his temper! We do give moms a lot of credibility, but often forget to acknowledge how much a dad brings to the table.
If we didn’t know how to turn on the “mommy mode”, it wasn’t exactly a cruise for them either. They always become the “punching bag” for everything we can’t do right. Sometimes, ranting and publicizing their mistakes makes our own faults seem smaller (I know I’ve done this a lot of times!) and it’s so therapeutic (*evil grin*).
He brings a lot of stability in our lives and keeps us grounded. He assures me that everything will work out when it’s time, and if it doesn’t we can figure it out together. When I get overwhelmed with being a mom, he calms my nerves and makes sure I get some alone time (lord knows we all need that). He is so patient with the child, and so giving which is very humbling.
Going back three decades, I still remember (or constantly reminded by my mom) that I was daddy’s precious little girl. His energy and love were contagious. He captivated my attention at all the times he was with me. He had so many innovative methods to spark my interest in various areas. Mom definitely had a lot of cleaning up to do after, but I couldn’t imagine me being me without all the madness we experienced as a family.
Even after he left to work in a different country, he constantly kept in touch with us kids through letters, audio tapes, goofy pictures, and the occasional phone calls (since it was expensive then). He was present with us, even during his absence with all the paraphernalia and his undying love for us.
I see so much of that same reverence for her dad in my child. It surely is unconditional love in its purest form. Ever so often our own insecurities creep up and make us all very vulnerable. Parenting is the toughest job there is and I’m thankful that I have someone to share this journey with –as a fellow parent, a friend, and as a confidante. Knowing that we are not perfect and not always right keeps us going. Our roles as parents has definitely taken a front seat now, and I’m sure there will be a lot more challenges for us to face going forward.
The spirit of parenthood is something that needs to be understood and appreciated every day. On the occasion of Father’s Day I would like to thank all the dads who are pillars of support for their families. Not forgetting all the single parents who do double the work to make it all happen. This post is an ode to all the dads out there including mine and my daughter’s.
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